Though I'm back in the United States, I feel like I should write at least one more post. I tried to think of a way to say everything I feel while I was on the planes home, but (as usual) I couldn't think anything. I wanted to wrap up my stay in Namibia, to write something that provided both you and me with closure. I took my dog on a run this morning, thinking maybe it would clear my head or at least provide a little clarity with this issue, but it only showed me that: A. Wilson loves to jump on people, and B. I'm out of shape.
I thought of making a list of things I've learned, of changes I've noticed since being home. To make that list would take time and energy I do not have at the present time, and I don't think I really want to. I've made a mental list, which is much more beneficial, I think. Every time I notice a change, I think 'Add it to the list.' I'm thankful that I have become more aware of my feelings and present state of mind, because it allows me to recognize changes in myself a bit better. I apologize for the horrible structure of that sentence.
The thing about a 'closure' post is just that: it's closed. For almost the entire time I was in Berseba, I wanted to be done. 'Just let me get sick enough so they send me home,' I'd pray on the really bad days. There were, of course, astoundingly good experiences as well, but I clearly was not making any plans to move to Namibia permanently. Now that I'm back (I have ridiculously good timing), I don't want this weird chapter in my life to be closed. Much of that has to do with missing the kids and friends I met while there, but I would very much like to return one day, not only to Namibia but to other countries on that continent as well. I'm glad I titled this blog 'Alivia in Africa;' hopefully my future travels will be documented alongside my Namibian adventure.